Krewe du Vieux and Krewedelusion (R-rated)

Though Carnival doesn’t “officially” start until 12 days before Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras in French), the city’s unofficially-official start is certainly the one-two satirical-parade punch of Krewe du Vieux and Krewedelusion. The bawdy R-rated parades lampoons local, national and even international politics with the addition of jabs at the Olympics-host Russian policy toward gays. With throws ranging from earplugs to liquor, it’s a fun adult night parade in the French Quarter.

This year’s Krewe du Vieux theme was “Where the Vile Things Are” and featured author, historian and wetlands-restoration crusader John Barry as king. The BP oil spill catastrophe continues to inspire satire as do Louisiana politicians Mayor Mitch Landrieu, Senator Mary Landrieu and a “twerking” Governor Bobby Jindal.

Another popular topic for both of this year’s parades was the recent fight over the “noise ordinance” which many locals feels cuts directly at the heart and wallet of local musicians. The conditions at the local jail, gentrification and the influx of “hipsters” were also topics on the chopping block with clever floats like Krewe of sPANk’s “Disney Landreau.”

Owing to the NBA All-Star Game, the streets were packed with tourists in town for the game. They were treated to the Mystic Krewe of Spermes “Spermes Goes Balls Out” float featuring 2 giant basketballs and a giant penis followed by their marchers carrying their traditional sperm-on-a-stick, some painted basketball-orange.

The floats satirizing the Olympics were among my favorites. Drips & Discharges’ “Sphincter Olympics” float featured a giant spinning penis dressed as a sparkly rainbow-boa-wielding figure skater skating for a panel of world leaders. A ball-gagged Putin mounted by a bear topped Mystic Krewe of Inane’s “Winter O’Lymp Dicks” float. The Pizza Sluts pulled a “Ho-Limpix” float and flashed fake genitalia in pizza boxes with signs like, “Blow this Putin.” There were plenty of bands as well including the amazing Stooges Brass Band and recent Red Bull Street Kings winners, Original Pinettes Brass Band.

Some of the people watching the parade with us had never been to any other parade. I can’t imagine how anyone would process this as the first parade they’d ever seen. Krewe Du Vieux is clever and funny but it’s also overt in its attacks and spares no sacred cows. No telling what all those NBA fans made of it. Not realizing Krewedelusion would arrive within minutes, most of them dispersed along with the Bourbon Street crowd.

Now in its 5th year, Krewedelusion is the more chaotic, less well-lit melange of micro-krewes that Krewe du Vieux used to be. Maybe it’s my nostalgia for days when fewer tourists crowded the streets or because they opened the parade with Martin Luther King Jr. Charter School’s marching band, but I enjoyed the smaller parade even more.

The Krewe of King James had us all dancing to James Brown then we were shushed by the “Decibel Deputies.” The Krewe of Goddesses delivered beautiful dancing women and painted bare-breasts. I got a Shrinky Dink throw and a hug from Krewe du Muu Muu Queen Bec Hunter, loved the dancers of Tap Dat and DrumCart’s giant jellyfish. It was a “colorful” way to begin the Carnival season.

As a side note, in 2013 former Mayor Ray Nagin had been indicted on 21 counts the morning of the 2 parades – too late to be included in the roasting. This year, he was found guilty of all but one of those counts – again too late to receive a proper lampooning. Timing is everything.

Krewe du Vieux

the parade begins

DancingMan504

King John Barry

sPANk: Disney Landreau starring Mitchie Mouse

Mitchie Mice

Krewe of Underwear

wild things

the parade rolls

T.O.K.I.N.: Big Bong Theory

Big Bong Theorists

Big Fun Brass Band

Mystic Krewe of Comatose: Gulf of Terror

Gulf creatures

Mama Roux: Mama Roux Makes Grosseries

Cheeky Blakk

Grosseries

Grosseries and band

Seeds of Decline: Queen of Da-nial

Pizza Sluts

d**k in a box

Pizza Sluts: Ho-Limpix

wetlands

Knights of Mondu: Dick Dynasty

Drips & Discharges: Sphincter Olympics

spinning skater

Olympiads

Stooges Brass Band

Krewe Rue Bourbon: Pajamacare

Krewe of C.R.U.D.E.: Where the Bar Flies Aren’t

Krewe of Space Age Love: Jailhouse Rock

throwing beads

Krewe du Mishigas: Let my People Go Cup! Partying the Red Sea

Go-Cuppers

Mystic Krewe of Spermes: Spermes Goes Balls Out

basketball Spermes

referee Spermes

Mystic Krewe of Inane: Winter O’Lymp Dicks

Krewe of L.E.W.D.: Breasts of the Southern Vile

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr. dancers

Martin Luther King, Jr. band

Krewedelusion

music tree

Krewe of King James

DJ Soul Sister

kick big oil

pelican

Foundation for De-Amplification

Decibel Deputy

anti- hipster float

walking tall

New Creations Brass Band

Lorax on a pelican

Krewe De Seuss

Krewe De Seuss band

Bananas on strike

BateBunda

Krewe of Goddesses

glossy girls

blue beauty

goddess

jellyfish

Panorama Brass Band

Krewe du Jieux: Hebrew Slaves on Ice

Tap Dat

Krewe du Muu Muu Queen Bec Hunter

DrumCart

more jellyfish

moon over Royal